How to Get Lucky the Old-Fashioned Way

Advice for anyone traversing that treacherous road to romance.

by Jeff Brein

How to find true love on the Internet

It's estimated that tens of millions of people use the Web to "troll" for a compatible catch. Match.com, one of the largest online dating services, boasts more than 60,000 newly registered people on the site every day, and more than 15 million members in 240 countries. However, online services can not guarantee that what you see (or read or hear) is what you get. For example, a recent study conducted by Cornell University found that both men and women are likely to "fudge the truth":

• More men than women lie about their height (men are usually shorter than they say).
• More men than women lie about their age (men are usually younger than they say).
• More women than men lie about their weight (women usually weigh more than they say).

How to save time speed dating

For time-challenged singles, speed dating is unbeatable. You move around the room round-robin style, spending four minutes talking to other attendees before moving to the next table. Most parties last about an hour and participants are "scored" when their likes and dislikes are later entered on a Web site, where matches are made and couples are put in touch. "It's all about first impressions," says Adele Testani, who founded Hurry Date in 2001 and throws 100 speed-dating parties a month, on average, across the United States.

Blind dating with your eyes open

The "blind" date, that meeting with a stranger often arranged by a well-meaning friend or relative, is generally preferred by people who like surprises, who never get around to meeting others, or who may be "commitment phobic." Perhaps due to their shock value, horror stories about blind dates tend to outnumber happily-ever-after tales, but good news rarely makes headlines. Tell friends and family that you're interested and looking, and remember to thank them for any introductions, no matter what happens.

19 essential dos and don'ts

Once you've found someone, make plans. "Meeting for a quick cup of coffee has the same odds of success as a marathon first date," says Jeff Cohen, author of Dating, Inc.

Dos

• Relax and be yourself. You're not auditioning or on a job interview.
• Dress comfortably and appropriately. Squeezing into a tight dress or wearing a T-shirt that announces your attitude might send the wrong message.
• Plan to do something that allows time to talk, such as golfing, tennis, rowboating, or bowling-not target practice at the local firing range.
• Pick up the tab, if the date was your idea. If there is any doubt, discuss it when you first make plans.
• Look your date in the eye when you're talking. Avoid glancing at other body parts.
• Show up. If an emergency forces a last-minute cancellation or delay, contact the person. Never leave someone in the lurch.
• Know where you'll go and how long you'll be there. Make it quality, not quantity, time.
• Ask permission to call or e-mail at the end of the date, if you're interested in seeing your companion again. If the answer is no, respect that the "relationship" is officially over and move on. If it's yes, send a brief thank-you note and wait at least 24 hours before making plans for a second date.
• Have fun. There is a reason that this activity is called the dating game.

Don'ts

• Don't bring anyone along, including an ex, your children, pets, or parents, unless you're on a double date or an arranged blind date.
• Don't dowse yourself in perfume or cologne. A bath or shower is adequate-no, essential.
• Don't monopolize the time with your cell phone, Blackberry, or walkie-talkie. Turn off these devices and concentrate on your partner.
• Don't reveal unnecessary personal information: your failed relationships, what the fortune-teller told you, or how unfriendly the police were to you when they pulled you over.
• Don't take your medication while on the date. Take it before you meet.
• Don't meet at your home-unless you're dropping by to pick up your partner.
• Don't flirt with your server, stare at others nearby, or talk about how hot Paris Hilton or Harrison Ford is. Focus on your companion.
• Don't discuss politics, sex, religion, or taxes. Your date may have differing opinions.
• Don't use a coupon for food or services. Go to places you can afford.
• Don't lie, lead on, or tell someone you're single and/or available when you're not. Be honest and considerate.