LABRATS REUNITE!!

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YB and the van

Were both "dead". YB was sleeping at the wheel and he never got the van fixed up for the trip. Next thing anyone knew, Mouse and Mary dragged YB out of the van and buried him under the leaves that fell as he slept. Meanwhile, the girls somehow got the van going when.....

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Suss appeared

from under the van. 'Where be my old mucker YB' Buried is what Mary shouts. Suss turned white and shouted'He be not dead he be drunk as a skunk on moonshine cider, help me dig him out.' Then up out of the ground comes YB with the sorest of head. Where's my van he shouted and then..........

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Tampa and Stu

Grabs the moonshine and runs off with it. "Shhh" says Stu. Can't let them know where we are going. "BTW" asks Tampa to her brother. "Where are we going"? With that, Ratch comes up and takes Stu and Tampa to a hiding place... Just as they got there.....

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blacksheep and Harold

were waiting with a box of Fuente-Fuente Opus X cigars and ....

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Wine and beer...

For everyone. Blacksheep had this nagging feeling that he forgot something. "Wonder what I forgot" Blacksheep thought.....

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corkscrew

Says Suss, but no worry crack the neck on YB's head that'll do' Blacksheep says to old Suss 'What's that you be munching on' This be a lardy cake says Suss. It be an old Sussex cake made of 1 third lard, 1 third treackle a couple of eggs and a bit of flour. Does wonders for the waistline. Have some sheepster and share it out with the others I've got more. With which old Ratchet..........

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Rachet took one look at the lardy cake and

Could not believe the taste. "Yes, this will be good for the waistline, alright".. One taste of that cake and you loose the waistline. Meanwhile, Rachet found the bottle of wine and sure enough, cracked it over Blacksheeps head. Then she gave some to Tampa and the girls. "What"? thought Suss, "I made this beautiful cake for you and you forget the old Susster?".. "Oh no" said Rachet.. I only gave a small amount to the girls since I had to be careful. Here Suss, bottoms up. With that, Suss began to drink the wine when came in....

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Mary Scott looking to round up the girls.

She wanted to get busy fall decorating the van for the big trip. "Now where are those boxes of decorations & let's not forget to search for that missing trunk full of money" said Mary as she was eyeing up the situation. She knew the guys were half jucied up so they wouldn't notice if the trunk turned up MIA.

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Sussex turned to

YB and said' Think I'll get Mary a dictionary for a pressy'

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As it turned out

It was Mary who was JUICED. Not jucied after all. Poor ole Mary was so juiced, that she tripped over something. That something moved and got up.. Mary's eyes were not yet bugged out when this something threw off the cover and exposed himself. "OH MY GOD!".. Mary jaw dropped when she had seen.....

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a skillet with.......

arms and legs, chasing a wooden spoon down the road. This was when good very, very old YB sprang into action and.....

YB
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..said:

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto!"

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Jumping jingle bells,

has everyong gone bonkers ??

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Poor old YB

Ain't been the same since he did drink of the nectar called Moonshine Cider. It did turn him a bit odd, if you know what I mean. Anyways where you been young Mary YB and Sheepster missed you like crazy. They do reckon you be the best cook out of all the gals. Me I reckon all gals are better cooks than me and can't wait till you all cook up a good tucker for this old sussexman so far from home. With which......

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Tampa made

Leg of lamb for the gang. She seared it first for the juices to come out and stab it with a knife to get the garlic cloves in there and laid small potatoes around it. Added water and baked it for awhile. Meantime, YB was sneaking in the kitchen trying to get a sample when........

YB
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..he sniffed a few times and exclaimed

"Does it smell OLD in here to you".. "oh never mind.. didn't know Suss was here" Of course old Suss not wanting to be outdone by YB once again says:

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The next....

time old YB it will be the first time. Anyways it's about time you stopped this getting at the lads. You should show some respect to your elders.You seem to forget it was me that got you out of that grave them gals stuck you in. Mind you you do sometimes give the impression of being dead from the feet up( only joking). What did you think of that moonshine scrumpy from sussex.Anyway is that there lamb cooked yet I'm starving with which Suss grabbed the whole joint and run up a tree with.........

YB
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the pot of mashed 'tators...

"OK Suss" say's YB, "I'm sowwy for pickin on ya, was just havin fun now PLEASE bring the tator's back down here. Gosta have tators with this pot of gravy" With that.....

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TampaParrot

Had heard that YB said mashed tators. She grabbed YB by the neck and said, "And what makes you think they are going to be mashies"? "If you put your specs on that wrinked face of yours, you will see that the taters are SMALL". Tampa has YB go outside to get Suss down from the tree. And reminds YB that he should do what the elders ask. The lamb is almost done. "Does it smell great"? Suss is licking his chops when comes in Stu and......

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sheepster and....

gave a whoop 'Food at last'. With which Tampa started carving great slices off and gave Suss one. Suss pulled a loaf out from under his shirt, cut it in half gave one half to YB and made a sarni with the lamb. YB and Suss were munching away when.........

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Tampa

Gave Suss the carving knife and asked him to carve the rest of the lamb. She looked at the sarni and wonder what it was. Tampa told the boys to not eat everything for the girls were coming with Stu and Harold for tea(dinner for you Yanks).. Just then, YB hears foot steps when who came in but.....

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Young Starzy with.....

her new hubby. Suss says to YB ' About time they come up for air' Get on with that there carving says YB. With which Suss cut a great slab off and gave it to Starzy he reckoned she needed her strength building up.Where's mine shouts YB? Suss ignored him and turned to Tampa and told her a 'Sarni' is a open sandwich. Harold and Stu ........

YB
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...were whispering something...

.. meanwhile, YB decided to show Suss some chivalry and went to the van and brought back a Cannibal sandwich. "Try this treat" said YB, "This should be right up your ally"

Meanwhile, Harold and Stu got up from their whispering session and slipped out not to go unnoticed by the Queen of Sox and the Mouser..

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And Ratchet....

Followed Harold and Stu to hear what they were saying. With that, YB in his drunken state, tried to sneak from behind when Suss grabbed YB and pulled him to the ground.. Just then good old Queenie of Sox(Stu would have loved that one) tried to make heads or tails of what was going on. She had this blank look on her face when....

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Suss dived....

Into the van and somehow got the engine going 'all aboard' he shouted all the gang jumped in and Mouse asked 'where we going'Donno' says Suss. Get over shouted YB your on the wrong side of the road and grabbed the wheel. Suss and YB struggled and ........

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Mary Scott and the girls

grabbed the lamb, mashed tators & gravy & were chowing down big time while the men were making fools of themselves again acting like juvenile idiots. Nothing was left except a big bone & dirty dishes when...

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Out of the blue

Tampa pushed YB aside and gave Suss the wheel. And told YB that the Yanks drive on the wrong side of the road. Meanwhile, Tampa is wondering why in the hell everyone thinks she made mashies. She has been trying to tell everyone, "I did NOT make any damn mashies folks"! I baked the taters with the lamb. The guys have been in mashy land with all the booze they have put down. Meanwhile, Suss is trying to keep control of the wheel when.....

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out of the woods

right out in plain sight smack in front of the van comes 3 ghostly figures. Was this a booze induced vision or were the ghosts really there ?? Suss feverishly rubbing his eyes swerved the van to the side of the road to a dead stop when......

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Out came Stu, Harold and GeeTee

Wondering how they got to where they stood. GeeTee asked Tampa if they were in Kanas or in a strange land. YB and Suss grabbed more booze and top that off. Stu was grabbing the rest of the booze when out of no where came......

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the tin man & the lion.

We must be in OZ !!

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What you mean OZ

Next thing will be YB singing about that yellow brick road that leads to nowhere. With which the lion gave a great roar. 'Was that your gut YB' says Suss So which way to Kansas? Suss pushed the gas peddle down to the floor and left......

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YB

Behind.. But what everyone did not know was, sitting in the trees was.......

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Fall...

Just waiting to fall on someone's head.YB looked like a great candidate when Suss floored the brake pedal. Everyone ended up in a heap. 'What in hells bells are you doing they all shouted at old Suss. Going back for old very old YB says Suss and drove backwards to YB just as he got in the van........

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there was an awful smell.

Someone must have stepped in some horse hockey. On that happy note everyone looked down at their shoes when.......

YB
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YB handed Suss a breath mint..

"seriously Dude" said YB to Suss who replied...

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EWWWWWWWWWWWW

What in the hell is this? This is not a breath mint says Suss to YB.. It has the taste of something that was left out... Suss was not happy with YB.. So, Suss was looking around for something to wash out the taste from his mouth when a hand came out of the dark and handed Suss.....

YB
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..a bottle of

ultra-thick Prune juice. Suss, not knowing any better started to chug the juice and......

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Tampa

Told Suss, "STOP"! "Don't drink the prune juice"! Suss asked "Why"?.. Tampa had to tell Suss that YB was behind sneaking the juice to Suss. Suss then had to run to the loo for awhile. "Oh crap", Suss thought. "I am going to get even with YB for this". Then as Suss was about to leave the loo, there was a knock on the door. Suss opened it up and there stood Starzy. Then out of no where came.....

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came a great laugh from Suss

Why it's so good to see you Starsy how you be now. The crew will be so pleased to see you. Can't stop now, things to do. With which Suss started a good hot fire and took out a copper pan and started frying up these odd looking oat cakes. What are they asked YB.Well says Suss I'm too old to bear a grudge YB so to make peace betwix us i've made these for you. Plus this molasses is to go on them. YB carefully ate a little bit.Crikey he says these are great and gobbled up a plateful. The rest of the gang turned up and wanted some but old Suss says these are specials just for my old friend YB. What's the recipe says Tampa. With a big grin Suss says, ' You take a big bowl of Bull shit mix it with lard fry it then for the topping mix axle grease, syrup of figs and a measure of rum, stir well and ladle it out on top.' Still enjoying them YB. Figured you were so full of Bull shit so a bit more would do no harm. With which YB....

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Ran

Like hell to the loo and stayed there all night... Suss had to throw in a pillow and blanket so YB would not get a chill. ;).. And Suss and Tampa sat down with a drink and laughed silly for hours til they cried. Then came in Stu and Harold. Stu asked Suss why YB was in the loo for so long. Suss told Stu the recipe and Stu was laughing his head off... Just then, Harold took a small sample and spit it out of his mouth.

Mary came in and noticed the recipe in the bowl and wanted to try it. Stu told Mary that she can have what was left. Mary tried it and.....

sussexman's picture
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said.....

' That's the worse thing I have ever tasted. Who in their right mind would ever eat that?' The gang all shouted together 'YB ate loads' Say no more says Mary. 'You see Mary says old Suss you have to remember YB is really a little boy in big boys trousers, that is if you know what I mean.' That set Tampa, Harold and Stu off laughing again.Then Mary started to ......

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Laugh so hard

That Mary was tripping out. Mary rolled on the floor until she rolled herself out of the door. Suss ran after Mary and almost caught her. But she fell into a small pond of mud. Face first. Mary thought, mud is good for the skin. Meanwhile, YB trousers were getting big, if you know what I mean and he tried so hard to hide. He used the newspaper and that didn't work. Then YB found this barrel. He climbed in it and not knowing it, that big problem peeked out. OMG yelled YB. Now what am I going to do now? Just then.....

YB
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YB pulled a big

flashlight out of his trousers... I was wondering where that thing slipped to. Geez, I bet that didn't look good (if ya know what I mean) The Sheepster decided to mosey on over. "where have you been hiding Sheep? Sleeping on top of the van again I suppose" said YB. So....

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Sheep

Told YB, That ain't no flashlight kid. It droops like a dead flower. Just then, GeeTee and his gang show up when....

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Mary, covered in mud,

made an exit stage left to find the nearest shower. Then she is on the way to get her stash of itchy powder she has hidden in a secret place. She rallied the girls & started after those nasty guys when.......

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she felt a......

Tap on her shoulder, when she turned round there were all the lads. Mary said to Tampa' if the lads are behind us who or what in hell are we chasing?' They be hellions you be chasing says old Suss you hope they baint do turn round else you be in hell of a big trouble girls. Come on lads says YB lets get back to the van and the booze an vitals and leave the girls to their fun. Suss lets out a cry you can't leave the gals like that they might need help Run says old Suss them there Hellions are coming and all the gang ran back to the van except old Suss who was rolling on the floor with laughter becuase......

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Suss

Gave old YB a swift kick in the bootie.. Tampa and Suss gave out a big YAYYYYYYYYYYY... Then had rum and 7Up to give a good cheer. Once Suss calmed down, he grabbed Tampa's hand and ran like hell. All of a sudden they bumped into Stu and Harold when.....

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There appearedfrom out of the dark a...

Huge great Kylie Cow. Run shouts Suss that thing will eat anything it can get it's mouth round (a bit like YB).Where it did come from? shouts Tampa. Suss says it come from.........

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A secret spot that Stu

Won't say. Stu and Harold done up the cow and made steaks galore. It took a long time for YB to realize what was going on. By the time YB came to the table, everything was gone. Where were you YB, says Suss. I was taking a kip says YB. Must have been a hell of a long one says Suss. Food is gone. Now you have to go hungry or find something to eat. WHAT? Yelled YB. Me, hungry? That was when YB was getting worried..

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But not as worried as

Suss. He turned to old YB and told him. Them folk have just eaten a great enormous GARDEN SNAIL. That's what a kylie cow is a snail. Still no accounting for taste. Now YB you and me are going to get some real tucker, get that fire going I've got some beef steaks in this old bag of mine. Then YB took one look at them steaks cooking and let out a yell' Real food' and started to shove great handfuls of the 'beef' down his throat. Ain't you eatin Suss says YB. Nope says old Suss with a grin you tuck in and enjoy old pal. Mary says to Suss just what beef is that. Oh says Suss that be ......

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