Our Forums Have Closed
"Looks like it's just me and you, Sussexman. Nobody seems to want to join us here. Nice spring weather we're having, eh? Here, have some 'Bow-Legged Bear' for yer pipe. It'll put hair on your chest. Hehehe."
"Alright you rascally wise guys! Just what kind of new adventure are we getting ourselves into this spring? Is YB still going to be in charge of the van? Or are we going for some better means of transportation than that old van these days? Yous guys best be ready, 'cause Mary Queen of Scotts and this old mean and nasty Mouse are ready for ya! :) I'll mix up another batch of brownies if you all decide to be nice to us women...I mean, you all KNOW we're the BRAINS of this group! :)" Mouse asked.
"That's right guys" Mary Scott chimed in..."What kind of wild adventures are we in for?"
With that Blacksheep replied.....
Toyota van, I got some letter about some recall but I used it to light Sheepsters Cigar.
those recall letters make pretty good cigar lighters, and paper airplanes, too. Say, we gonna have a Easter egg hunt this year? Or, are we just gonna get drunk and forget about it as usual?"
with this 'ANOTHER' batch of brownies, us lads never saw no brownies of the last lot.About that baccy, I used to have loads of hair on me chest but they slipped. That there recall was only about brakes, we don't need them with YB driving we could walk faster. Anyways what the h.. is an egg hunt, do I need a gun or what. Never seen an egg run.Do they fly. I reckon blacksheep's idea is best, pass a beer and........
Mary Scott said "Leave it to YB to trade the VW in for a Toyota. Probably got it for a great price, but I think he is trying to kill all of us !!"
You been hibernating and come out with the spring sun? YB is a damn good driver, must be he's a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cracked open a bottle of Ipswich Ale. *Pffsst! Gulp Gulp Gulp* "Aaahh, man, that hit the spot. Ya know, I wouldn't worry 'bout the *BURRRPP!* 'scuse me, I wouldn't worry 'bout the brake problem. If the brakes go out, we can just stick our feet through these holes in the floor and stop the van. Kinda like the Flintstones, ya know."
Plays "Hell" on the shoe leather, not to mention the bottoms of your feet !! "Has anyone found the trunk with all the money in it that was hid last fall somewhere ?" said Mary Scott. Now that we have a new vehicle, we need to get a trip organized."
they have they are keeping quiet about it. Whose missing? Anyways what do you need money for.If we need anything we'll have to trade for it.How's about going up to Canada and visit ol' PJ. Bet he'll be only too pleased to see us all.Anyone got a .........
I can't make heads er tails out of this map."
"That's not a map Sussex, that's a puzzle maze. You're suppose to help the little bunny rabbit get to the forrest." says Blacksheep. "YB, you sure that was a recall letter and not a map you lit up?"
Your gas pedal will stick and you might accelerate to 130mph in reverse.. yea right...
"Hey Sheepster, are you smoking cigars again?"
"No YB, why do you ask?" "Hmm I could have sworn I smelled a Cuban Cigar?"
At 130mph we'll be back where we come from before we get there.
What's a Cuban Cigar smell like?
Anyways YB are you old enough to smoke?
You know who use to smoke those wretched things?
Could it be........
you don't suppose it's.....?" Everyone slowly turned to look back, and there in the way back seat, kicked back, smoking a big Cuban cigar, with his head resting on a turkey wing, and his hooves propped up on the ice chest.... "What are youse lookin' at? You ack like you've never seen a Tig before!" says Harold...
Your the 'Harold' theys all talking about. There's me thinking it was the Harold I know who did get an eyefull of arrow back in 1066. Why are your hooves different colours is it because......
been coloring Easter eggs, Sussexman." said Harold. "Got a whole ice chest full of 'em. I figure I could make a small fortune selling them as pretty paper weights down at the fan factory. Where we goin' anyway?"
I'm just the driver
a sign up ahead," said Blacksheep. "Let's see what it says." As they got closer, they could read the sign that said......
to the land of Make Believe....
"Jumpin' jingle bells", said Mary Scott, "here we go again !!" The sign said OZ 15 miles. So.....
blacksheep that's a short name for Australia, look there's a kangaroo and it's got mousepottato in its pouch. Come back Mary are you sure it said 15 miles or.......
maybe not 15 miles, I broke my glasses & can't see things too well.
Mouse peeks out from the pouch of the kangaroo and yells to YB "Hey! Stop!!!! Don't make me drag you down! I want in!"
Blacksheep, too busy with his cigar and brownies just laughs.
Mary Scott yelled at YB to stop and pick up Mouse "You know she's the one who makes those brownies you love so much! Harold, Sussex, Sheep...get that stuff OUT of your cigars...you KNOW it's for the brownies!"
"Come on guys, can't you let me in? You don't want me to get ole' Ratchet after you do you?" Mouse pleaded.
YB Stretched out a hand and snatched Mouser from the Kangaroo... "How did we get down here, I don't remember driving across an ocean" exclaimed YB
not surprised YB you never remember nothin. You can't remember being born yet you must have been there. But then again......,mind that dingo.
recall driving across the ocean either." says Blacksheep. "But then again, the last thing I remember was rolling over a police car in a wheat field. You sure that's a dingo? Looks an awful lot like Scooby Doo."
Isn't a Scooby Doo what a Scuba Diver does when he's caught short in the sea?
Don't laugh at those with the snow when you are sitting in sunny sussex(65F)
I've had a brainwave. If I dilute all this jam and strain the pips out do you reckon we could run the camper on it. I reckon the fumes from the exhaust certainly be different what do you reckon blacksheep. Wake old Stuei up and ask him he seems to know everything and am sure come up with a suggestion or three.
I dunno. Whacha gonna dilute it with?" asked Blacksheep.
"I know!" says Harold. "I just so happen to have a few bottles of The Dalmore, we can use that."
"Good idea Harold." says Blacksheep. "Let's empty out this ice chest and see what we can conjure up, eh?"
Blacksheep, Harold and Sussex guzzled down what was left of the beer, then started pouring stuff into the ice chest......
having filled the icebox with a mixture that smelt decidedly odd Harold tried to pick the ice box off but the handle fell off. Some of the mixture spilt onto the floor of the truck. Quick as a flash Blacksheep was on his hands and knees licking it up, Shame to waste it he ses. Harold and Sussex tried some too. Too good to put in the tank they says we'll bottle it and sell it to old PJ and YB they'll drink anything that's cheap. We'll call it........
That should attract PJ and YB's interests.. but little did they know PJ & YB were...
the bottles of the dalmere theyed left for later in the trip. They asked harold, blacksheep and sussex if theyed seen em. NO they all shouted not a sign of em. Bet that old mouse gave them to that kangeroo she was so friendly with. Anyways PJ's too trusting to be mixing with the likes of........
He'd rather mix with the likes of other drunks. You know, the kind with long legs and short skirts."
"Can't says I blame him!" says Blacksheep. *Slurp slurp slurp*
"Hey! We gonna bottle this up or what?" says Harold. "We gotta make payroll ya know. BURRRRRPP!"
we got it bottled what are we going to charge PJ a bottle. I aint got any idea of youse US monies. And what are you going to call this stuff. Come on Harold you got better ideas that blacksheep and me, or how about you girls you been awful quiet lately, cat bit your tounge or somethin.Then blackheep shouts 'LOOK OUT...........
IT'S THE EASTER BUNNY!"
"That's no Easter bunny!" says Harold. "It's that blasted kangaroo again! And she looks pretty darn mad!"
"Gee, I wonder what she wants." says Blacksheep. "You don't suppose she wants Mousie back, do ya?"
"I dunno," says Harold. "Let's throw Mouse out the window and see!"
to catch hold of mouse but she dived under the seat shouting help, help.
Sussex says that old Kanga aint mad she is livid you just run over her foot YB. If she gives you a stompin you'll know you've been stomped. You reckon this old van will do 160 in reverse then get it moving as I don't want to be in this van if that there kanga gets in.Chuck it a bottle of hooch that will keep her happy till she tastes it. Where the hell is that .........
He's been awfully quiet lately."
"Gee, you don't suppose he's passed out at the wheel again, do ya?" says blacksheep.
noticed no one what in it.. In a panic they all dived for the stearing wheel.
They found the van was in "auto pilot" and a note from YB was on the seat..
Taking a cesta, be back in a few weeks...
has just made a spelling mistake says sussex to harold. 'cesta' is taken from the latin 'cestus' which is a girdle. What the hell would YB be doing with a girdle and where is he taking it. Hope he don't meet that Kanga, me I'm for heading back to Florida. Might see an odd gator or two. You know the way...........
Whacha wanna go to Florida for? Aint nothin' there but sunshine, palm trees, margaritas, and women in tiny little bikinis! On second thought, that's a pretty good idea Sussex!"
Blacksheep took the wheel and put the pedal to the metal, crossing the ocean in the blink of an eye, and soon they were cruising down the beach.
"Gee, getta load of that pair would ya. Aint that the plumpest pair you ever seen?" says blacksheep.
"Yeah, Florida has the best oranges." says Harold.
let old PJ get an eye full of that lot else he'll be back in dock again.Can't see the girls letting us tarry down here for long. Bet old Mary will have something to say. Still best make the most of the sun and all.What's the local tipple down here Blackhsheep.Best get a few crates in so's we don't have to stop to often. Anyone seen old.........
I haven't. She's prolly crashed out in the way back seat with the others. Say, isn't that YB on the beach with a girdle?"
That's what a girdle looks like, I thought it was something you cook pancakes on. Old YB certainly looks as if he's having a great time, best leave him to play. You noticed how quiet it is around here without those squawking gals. Hope they stay asleep a tad longer. Pass us a...........