Have a toothache? We would suggest that you go to the dentist, but to help pass the time while you wait for your appointment, consider this (not-so-practical) advice from 1991’s The Best of The Old Farmer’s Almanac compilation book.
Toothache Remedies to be Taken with a Grain of Salt
The Simple but Disgusting Methods
- Eat grasshopper eggs.
- Place fresh cow manure on the side of the face where the ache occurs.
- Hold a live frog against the aching cheek.
- Apply a crushed ladybug to the aching tooth.
- Never wash on a Tuesday.
The Weird and Complicated Methods
- Take the tooth of a murdered man or, better still, an executed criminal and apply it to the aching tooth in a graveyard at midnight under a full Moon.
- On Good Friday, comb your hair and collect the hair that falls out. Burn it and inhale the fumes.
- Pick your teeth with the nail of the middle toe of an owl.
Better to Have the Toothache
- Eat the eyes of a vulture.
- Bite off the head of a live mouse, put it in a bag, and suspend it from your neck. The ribbon or thread must not have a knot in it.
- Press the finger of a corpse against the aching tooth.
- If all else fails, an ancient Chinese physician recommended a pill of arsenic, which the patient should “put close to aching tooth, then sleep. Cure certain.” And final.
Ginger Vaughan has worked for The Old Farmer's Almanac for over a decade. Like the Almanac she strives to be "useful, with a pleasant degree of humor."