For the real “story” in history, we need go no further than these excerpts collected from the essays of school children.
“Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.”
“Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.”
“The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.” [Editor’s Note: We are certain that this young writer meant “laid to rest.”]
“Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote.”
Courtesy of M. K., Woodbury, Connecticut
“Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats together backwards and declared, ‘A horse divided against itself can not stand.’ Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.”
Now you know!