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The Old Farmer’s Almanac always has a pleasant degree of humor, so please laugh with us at these hilarious court transcriptions, a very corny cow joke, and some unintelligible instructions for assembling just about anything!
Do You Swear to Tell the Whole Truth?
These actual court transcriptions raise the question of just what the “whole truth” is …
Q: What is your brother-in-law’s name?
Q: What is his first name?
A: I can’t remember.
Q: He’s been your brother-in-law for 45 years, and you can’t remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I’m too excited. [Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin] Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!
Instructions for the Assembly of Just About Anything
You can try this in the privacy of your own home.
Grasp gizmo in your left hand. With your right hand, insert the doohickey into the little whoosie just below the bright red thingamajig and gently—gently!—turn it in a clockwise direction until you hear a click. Attach the long thingamabob to the whatchamacallit. Do not under any circumstances allow the metal whatsit on the end to come in contact with the black plastic thingummy. Failure to follow these instructions will result in damage to the doodad.
Do you have any great jokes that you love to tell? Let us know below!