Funny Research Awards, Plus Puns and Jokes!

Funny Research Award Recipients

Here are the recipients of five of the most memorable so-called Ig Nobel awards of recent times.

1. A study describing a method for collecting whale snot by using a remote-control helicopter. (Won by a team of British and Mexican scientists.)

2. The discovery that roller-coaster riding can be a treatment for symptoms of asthma. (Won by two psychologists from The Netherlands.)

3. A study demonstrating that people slip and fall less often on ice when they wear their socks on the outside of their shoes. (Won by three researchers from New Zealand.)

4. A study showing that cows with names give more milk than nameless bovines. (Won by two British researchers.)

5. The invention of a brassiere that in an emergency can be quickly converted into two protective face masks—one for the wearer and one for a bystander. (Won by three American public health scientists, who were also granted a patent for the device.)

Fantastic Puns

• A hole has been found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
• Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Back in Old England, two gentlemen were walking down the street when one stumbled over a mop bucket that had been left out.

“My dear friend,” exclaimed the other, “I lament your death exceedingly.”

“My death?!”

“Why, yes—you have just kicked the bucket.”

“Not so,” rejoined the first. “I have only turned a little pail.”

Our Favorite Jokes

19th-Century Nonsense: Horn Tooting

A cavalry colonel, having raised and organized a complete regiment by himself, was complaining to a peer about the amount of work he had to do.

“I am obliged to be my own major, my own captain, my own adjutant, and everything,” he whined.

Replied his friend: “And, I presume, your own trumpeter.”

Four Reasons to Marry Four Times

On the occasion of her fourth wedding, a reporter asked an elderly woman about her spouses. She explained that her first husband had been a banker; her second, a circus performer; her third, an attorney. This latest marriage was to a funeral director.

The reporter then asked why the woman had been attracted to men with such diverse interests. She replied, “Well, I chose number one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

Just Wondering …

How is it that we put a man on the Moon before we figured out that it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?