True But Hilarious Answers and Jokes

Humor Me: Grins and Groans with The Old Farmer's Almanac

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These questions, answers, and true quotes will have you full of laughs and grins!

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Sometimes a simple question leads to a hilarious answer—or an answer you wouldn’t expect. And sometimes, people crack fantastic jokes without even knowing it.

How Would You Answer These Four Questions?

90 percent of adults get every one wrong. But preschoolers do well!

Question 1: How would you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. (This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.)

Question 2: How would you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

The correct answer: Same as above? Wrong. Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door. (This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.)

Question 3: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?

The correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. (This tests your memory.)

Question 4: There is a river you must cross, but it is known to be frequented by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage?

The correct answer: You jump into the river and swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. (This tests whether you learn from your mistakes.)

How to Become a Permanent Job Seeker: Funny Job Interview Statements

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Photo Credit: Thinkstock. Don’t use these answers in your next job interview!

Honesty is good, but sometimes discretion would have been better—as evidenced by these true job interview quotes.

  • “What do you want me to do if I can not walk to work if it’s raining? Can you pick me up?”
  • “So, how much do they pay you for doing these interviews?”
  • “What is your company’s policy on Monday absences?”
  • “When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?”
  • “I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes.”

Back by Popular Demand … When Kids Talk to God

A lot of junk comes to us via the Internet every day, and, then, occasionally, there’s a gem. These “Letters to God” were written by first and second graders.

  • Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. –Ginny
  • Dear God, If you give me a genie lamp like Aladdin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set. –Raphael
  • Dear God, We read that Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. –Donna
  • Dear God, Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year. –Peter
  • Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. –Larry

For more great laughs from The Old Farmer’s Almanac, click here, or here, or here! We’ve got more laughs than your stomach can handle!

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