Dad Jokes Guaranteed to Deliver a Smile, Laugh, or Lift!
I think we can all agree that dad jokes are an integral part of fatherhood, so why not add a few more jokes to the ol’ dad joke dictionary this Father’s Day? Have a geese, have a gander, and pick your favorite or, better yet, “favorites”!
Fathers have such an influential role in our lives. Whether we need advice, guidance, love, or even just some plain silly humor, dads are always there to spare a joke or two or four… even when the timing may not be the best!
This Father’s Day, share the humor! These jokes are everything we love from the corny to the bad to the ridiculously bad—everything a dad joke should be!
Perhaps you’re trying to find some ammo for your upcoming joke battle with him or looking to use one in your dad’s birthday card? Whatever the case may be, we have searched far and wide to bring you only the best dad jokes out there.
30 Great Dad Jokes
1. I was walking down the street and a man offered to give me a free guitar. However, I just couldn’t believe it. After a long conversation with the man, I learnt that there were indeed strings attached. In the end, I didn’t fret about it.
2. My wife gave me a list of jobs to do. So, I hired a handyman. To her horror, he had only completed tasks 3, 5, and 7 by the end of the day. I told her that she shouldn’t be so surprised: a handyman usually only does the odd jobs. After all, he used to be a prime contractor!
3. Son: “I am really considering moving to Northern Europe.”
Dad: “No way!”
4. Have you seen the media lately? Everyone is fussing about all the smart home devices. They’re worried that the devices are listening to our private conversations. But the way I see it, there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, our vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on us for years!
5. I always feel very claustrophobic whenever I go to the Apple store in town. There are just no windows there!
6. A man fell through a window. Thankfully, he was completely unharmed. How amazing—it must have been paneless!
7. Child: “Dad, can we get a pet dog?”
Dad: “Why don’t you get a pet tree instead?”
Child: “Why would we get a pet tree?”
Dad: “It’s just like a pet dog, but the bark’s quieter”
8. Did you hear? Somebody broke into the pet store the other day. Apparently, they stole all the dog accessories! The police say they haven’t got any leads.
9. My wife told me to sync her phone. She was upset when I told her I threw it in the river. Not sure why she’s mad at me!
10. In a back alley comic book store…
Customer: “You know, if you really want to attract customers, you should just put an Incredible Hulk out front!”
Shopkeeper: “What? Why?”
Customer: “Because it would be a giant banner!”
11. If you ever fall out of a kayak, don’t panic. I mean, you could always wear it as a hat once it’s capsized!
12. Son: “We’re having a BBQ this weekend with the family.”
Dad: “Well, don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill…”
13. I went to a restaurant the other day. I arrived 5 minutes early. The owner asked if I didn’t mind waiting. I said I didn’t mind. He was very confused when I put an apron on and started taking orders.
14. There was a sale on TVs over the weekend. There was a 65-inch TV on sale for only $5.00! The salesman said it worked fine but that the volume was just stuck on 10. I bought it immediately. I just couldn’t turn it down.
15. There was a jar at the dentist’s office labeled “patient pens only.” I told the assistant that it was a good call because you wouldn’t want to collect any impatient pens. She was not amused…
16. My friend thought that drinking beer would make him smarter, but I don’t think any amount of beer would make my Budweiser.
17. I took my dog to the park, but he kept getting nipped at by the ducks. I guess he must be purebred.
18. I went to Cole’s Farm Stand to buy some cabbage. However, the sales assistant told me that legally, I had to buy carrots and mayo too. Apparently, it’s Cole’s Law.
19. We saw the most obscure looking mountain the other day; we couldn’t stop laughing. It was at that moment that we realized that the mountains were not just funny, but that they were actually hill areas.
20. A photon is on a plane. A stewardess asks if he need any help with his luggage. He responds, “No, I’m travelling light.”
21. I had a great childhood. My father would put me in a tire and roll me down a hill. Those were the good years. My brother, on the other hand, never appreciated such a tiring activity.
22. My boss just rang. He said, “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to find you all day!” I told him that good employees are hard to find.
23. Vegans give butchers a hard time and call them gross. But from what I gather, a person who sells fruits and vegetables is grocer.
24. Because of the pandemic, this will be the first year our family won’t be going on vacation. Usually it’s because we can’t afford it.
25. Wife: “Honey, look outside, all the bus stop signs on our street have been stolen!”
Husband: “Where do these people get off?!”
26. My son threw a huge tantrum last night. He even hit me with a few cans of Coke, Fanta, and Sprite! Luckily, they were all soft drinks.
27. My son’s school called. They asked why I didn’t put his uniform on. I told them to stop being silly. It doesn’t fit me.
28. I just found out that my neighbor fell off the roof while playing peekaboo. He is currently in the ICU.
29. I often feel depressed when I don’t play video games, but I always find a way to console myself.
30. Who decided to call it national anthem and not country music?
31. You cannot plant spring flowers in the garden… if you haven’t botany!
32. Why did a buffalo farmer march in the Pride parade? To support his bison.
33. Dad: “How much would a new roof cost?”
Sales Rep: “Approximately $5000-7000.”
Dad: “Darn, I was hoping it would be on the house!”
There you have it: The bad, the corny and the gold—everything a dad joke should be. We hope that these jokes made you giggle, cringe, or even shake your head.
We know that these are silly, but they’re great, just like our dads.
Nothing is as heart-warming as a dad joke when you’re down in the dumps. They are even great for office banter—or, perhaps try your luck with using one as a pick-up line?
Tell us your favorite joke below!