Good Old-Fashioned Jokes

Last Laugh

Some years ago, an article by Richard L. Madden in the New York Times recounted how New York Sen. James Buckley’s office had once received the following letter from a former fan in Buffalo:

“Now that my nausea has subsided after accidentally observing your appearance on Laugh-In last evening, I, as one of your constituents and former admirers, am constrained to comment that your silly grin while the inane and vulgar questions were asked and your equally inane replies were less than worthy of a Senator of the United States. The disgusting episode in which you freely participated and that you apparently enjoyed—as an accomplice lending your position to a disgraceful program—is an affront to the dignity of the Senate, to your family, to your church, and to your constituency.”

Senator Buckley replied:

“I have forwarded your letter to my brother the columnist—William F. Buckley Jr. It was he, not I, who appeared on Laugh-In.”

To “clarify” matters, William F. Buckley followed up with the following letter to the man in Buffalo:

“It is typical of my brother to attempt to deceive his constituents. It was, of course, he, not I, who appeared on Laugh-In, just as you suspected. On the other hand, you need not worry about it. His greatest deception is as yet undiscovered. It was I, not he, who was elected to the Senate. So you see, you have nothing to worry about. You are represented in the Senate by a responsible, truthful man.”

He Knew His Father

“Tell me, Johnnie,” said his teacher, “if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?”

“One hundred dollars,” said Johnnie.

“I’m afraid you don’t know your lesson very well,” remarked the teacher.

“I may not know my lesson,” said Johnnie, “but I know my father.”

Passing Comments

Judge: “Now, madam, please tell the court all that passed between you and your husband during this quarrel.”

Mrs. Jones: “Your honor, I can not remember everything, but I’m sure there was the rolling pin, three plates, and the stove lifter.”

19th-Century Nonsense: Calf Talk

A farm lady was showing her place to her neighbor farmer, who had a bent toward wit and mischief.

She showed him her sheep and other stock, but just as they were entering the house, she exclaimed, “Dear me, you have not seen my calf, sir!”

“No, ma’am,” said the farmer. “I never saw higher than your ankle.”