Women in the Victorian Era were careful to follow all social rules regarding manners and etiquette.
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Old-Fashioned Rules for Good Behavior
November 12, 2021
There were countless rules of social manners and etiquette during the Victorian Era (1837-1901), though they now may seem a bit old-fashioned.
To guide the uninitiated, Thomas E. Hill compiled a list of dos and don’ts in his Manual of Social and Business Forms, first published in 1875. Here are some of our favorite practices of social etiquette from the Victorian Era.(Note: Requires a sense of humor!)
Bathing: “Upon arising, take a complete bath. A simple washing out of the eyes is not sufficient. The complete bathing of the body once each day is of the utmost importance. Not more than a quart of water is necessary, preferably rainwater.”
Hair: “The head should be washed occasionally with soap and water. When the hair is inclined to be harsh and dry, a moderate application of bear’s grease or other dressing should be used.”
Skin: “Beware of exterior applications of cosmetics. Instead, once every two or three months, take a teaspoonful of powdered charcoal mixed with sweetened water or milk. This will prove efficacious in making the complexion clear and transparent.”
Kissing: “Upon the meeting of intimate friends, among ladies, at the private house, the kiss as a mode of salutation is yet common; but this is a custom which ought to be abolished for physiological and other reasons.”
Social Etiquette and Manners
Bowing: “A gentleman should not bow from a window to a lady on the street, though he may bow slightly from the street upon being recognized by a lady in a window. Such recognition should, however, generally be avoided, as gossip is likely to attach undue importance to it when seen by others.”
Dignity: “To greet someone by saying ‘Hello, old fellow’ indicates ill-breeding. If you are approached in this vulgar manner, it is better to give a civil reply and address the person respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be ashamed of his own conduct.”
Small talk: “No topic of absorbing interest may be admitted to polite conversation. It might lead to discussion.”
Conduct to avoid at the ball: “No gentleman should enter the ladies’ dressing room at a ball.”
Card-playing: “If possible, do not violate the rules of the game and do not cheat. Should you observe anyone cheating, quietly and very politely call it to his attention, and be careful that you do not get excited. People who experience ill-feeling at the game should avoid playing.”
Marriage: “Anyone with bright red hair and a florid complexion should marry someone with jet-black hair. The very corpulent should marry the thin and spare, and the body, wiry, cold-blooded should marry the round-featured, warmhearted, emotional type.”
Husbands: “Always leave home with a tender goodbye and loving words. They may be the last.”
Train travel: “People with weak eyes should avoid reading on trains, and those with weak lungs should avoid talking.”
Street etiquette: “When crossing the pavement, a lady should raise her dress with the right hand, a little about the ankle. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar and can only be excused when mud is very deep.”