For daily wit & wisdom, get the Almanac newsletter.

How to Write a Thank-You Note

A hand holding a pencil above a note saying "Thank You"

Writing thank you cards can be a bit of a chore, but use these tips to write short and sweet thank you notes properly.

Written By: Catherine Boeckmann Executive Digital Editor and Master Gardener

If you still haven’t gotten around to writing a thank-you note, we say that it’s never too late to show gratitude. Thank-you notes are not only a sign of good manners but also a good gesture for your own health! Here are the oft-forgotten fundamentals of writing a thank-you note.

Why write a thank-you note?

A study in Psychological Science showed that writing a thank you letter both improves the giver’s happiness and puts the writer in more positive spirits. That’s the power of gratitude!

While many thank-you letter writers get concerned about the exact words they use, it turns out that the recipients were simply touched by the warmth and thoughtfulness of the letter itself.

So, start writing thank-you notes—and write them more often! It comes at very little cost and benefits everyone.

Which occasions require a thank-you note?

A gift traditionally requires a thank-you note from the recipient, no matter what the occasion for the gift—a holiday, birthday, anniversary, religious event, award, or accomplishment.

Thank-you notes are also recommended when services have been performed (especially as a favor or for free), when hospitality has been provided, or in appreciation of generosity or thoughtfulness.

When should a thank-you note be written?

Immediately. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes, and the less appreciative you will appear.

What is needed for a thank-you note?

Traditionally, a blue or black ink pen on fine stationery, a blank card, or suitable notepaper.

How do I write a thank-you note?

Write a draft first. Before using your “good” paper, gather your thoughts and jot them on a piece of scrap paper.

Keep each note short—three or four sentences is fine. You can express your thanks just as sincerely as you can in several paragraphs.

  1. Write something personal/emotional about the giver.  Do not use the word “I”: A thank-you note is not about you, it is about the person who gave you the gift. Some examples include “You are so thoughtful!” or “How did you know … ?” or “Your presence at [EVENT] was a gift, but the [GIFT] made it a truly special day.”
  2. Comment on what you will do with the gift (especially if it is money) and/or how you will use the gift (e.g., in school, on vacation, at work, in the kitchen, etc.). Be specific. “Thank you so much for the beautiful set of wineglasses! We really enjoy entertaining, so the glasses will get plenty of use.”
  3. Express your thanks for the gift and the giver, e.g., his or her thoughtfulness or generosity or on what a special place he or she occupies in your family or heart or circle of friends.

Remember: Be authentic, be original, be sincere.

Once you are satisfied with your thank-you sentences, write them on the “good” paper.

  • Start with “Dear [NAME],”
  • End with cordial regards, e.g., “Sincerely,” or “With love,” or “You’re the best!” or “Yours truly,”
  • Sign the thank-you note.
  • Address the envelope, put a postage stamp on it, and mail it.

Can I print—not write in cursive—a thank-you note?

Printing a thank-you note is acceptable, but cursive is a nice touch (as long as it’s legible).

Can I just say “thank you” verbally to the giver?

You can—and should—say “thank you” to the giver when you receive a gift, but a proper appreciation should be expressed on paper and sent by mail.

Can I use email, social media, or the phone to say “thank you”?

You can express your thanks in those ways, but nothing beats a thank-you note written on paper and sent in an envelope. Especially these days—when almost everything is already online—it’s nice to receive something physical!

If I do not like the gift, do I need to send a thank-you note?

Yes—but if you do not like a gift, do not reveal your displeasure in the note. Focus on your appreciation of the giver’s thoughtfulness, generosity, and good intentions. Remember the adage “It’s the thought that counts.” Keep an open mind: You may actually develop a fondness and appreciation for the item later.

What difference will a thank-you note make?

If you send a thank-you note, you and the gesture will never be forgotten. If you do not, you will not be forgotten either, but not for the same reason nor with the same regard.

At what age should kids send thank-you notes?

It’s a great idea to get children in the habit of writing their own thank-you notes by preschool age. If your child can’t write yet, transcribe the note for them and have them write (or scribble!) their name at the end. Recipients—whether grandparents, other family members, or friends—are guaranteed to be delighted!

Say thank you with a note … and a gift!

It’s OK to go overboard with your appreciation and send a thank-you gift. Make your own gift jars with something edible inside or see other fun gifts you can make in the kitchen.

Did you know?

National Handwriting Day is January 23!

Do you have any tips for writing the best thank-you cards? Do you still write thank-you notes? Let us know in the comments below!

Home and Health

About The Author

Catherine Boeckmann

Catherine Boeckmann

Executive Digital Editor and Master Gardener

Catherine Boeckmann is the Executive Digital Editor of Almanac.com, the digital home of The Old Farmer’s Almanac. She leads digital editorial strategy and publishing across a wide range of Almanac sub...

Read more from Catherine Boeckmann

More Like This

Comments

<span>Roberta Thompson</span> Wed, 01/24/2018 - 13:50
When I was young my first sentence in a thank you note was: I want to thank you for _____. My mother pointed out my mistake. She said, do not 'want' to thank them, just thank them! My other flaw is that I broke the rule mentioned in this article and used "I". The focus should be on the giver.
<span>Tiffany</span> Wed, 01/24/2018 - 05:13
It’s rather unfortunate that there is a broader generation that are not being introduced to what seemed basic manners as I grew up. I agree, tablets and computers have put pen, pencil *gasp* and paper to rest. It would seem that cursive will eventually become a lost language, God forbid someone would stumble upon anything I have written in Calligraphy! My mother was not just my mum, but my preschool teacher, so my education of manners and writing started young at school and home. She did, as suggested, in this article, transcribe for me, and I was writing on my own, simple put the stamp on it for me. I still send thank you notes, but have moved towards cute postcards of my fur-kids, and now my friends and family keep them just for the picture! But, around every holiday, birthday, etc., my mother still checks, and asks if I’ve written my thank yous. Rest assured, my children will not only practice and us handwriting, but will learn cursive and maybe dabble in Calligraphy! Cheers!
<span>Irene</span> Tue, 01/23/2018 - 21:49
I did not see in the comments my big pet peeve. Children today are not taught how to write. Everything is on a tablet or laptop. My niece's son is thirteen and his penmanship (if he writes at all) is worse than my writing in the first grade. His Mother now sends a photo card with a thank you. Better than nothing, at least I get an acknowledgement, albeit from his Mom. It would be nice if everyone was more thoughtful instead of being thoughtless.
<span>Susan</span> Tue, 01/23/2018 - 15:10
Now what? I told a grandson how important thank you notes are. He "promised" to do better - he didn't. Last Christmas I didn't give him his usual $$ as a wake up call. It didn't apparently ring a bell. This year, I gave $$ again. No thank you notes are in the future. My Mom always said that if the giver takes the time to send a gift or money, the very least the recipient could do is acknowledge it. Must not be true any more -- Sad.
<span>Annie</span> Tue, 01/23/2018 - 12:25
It is important to send a handwritten thank you for any gift. The giver will know you received it and know it was appreciated enough to take 5 minutes time to say so. If the receiver does not respond to a gift as far as I'm concerned they show a poor upbringing and bad manners.
<span>Donna H Volk</span> Tue, 01/23/2018 - 10:46
I feel note/letter writing is a lost art. Your article is much appreciated. And the reminder that today recognizes the art!
<span>Linda M. Kieferd</span> Tue, 01/23/2018 - 09:36
It seems I am guilty as charged . I write thank you notes if something is sent to me from a distance when I can not personally give my thanks to the giver. This is not to condone the unfortunate modern tendency with some not to acknowledge the gift at all. The thing I have no excuse for is that when I was in school, once we learned to print we were taught penmanship! To practice our developing skills we were required to write all forms of correspondence so it not like I don't know how. Thanks for reminding me of the joy of the written word and the nicety of sending even your next door neighbor a thank you note.
<span>Carol Mccall</span> Sun, 01/22/2017 - 19:52
We treasure children's thank you notes. If the child is very young, they may draw a picture instead of writing, and then tell mom or dad what to print. They should also sign their name in some fashion. I have recently shown some notes to now grown up children and sometimes they show them to their own children. Emails will not be saved as letters and notes will, and it's unlikely emails or texts will be posted on the refrigerator door, or stood up on the piano!
<span>Fay</span> Sun, 01/22/2017 - 12:52
But if you receive a thank you note containing a gift, do you as the recipient then send a thank-you note for the thank-you gift?
<span>Mrs.r.l.taylor</span> Tue, 01/23/2018 - 08:45
Nobody likes a Chain Letter and that is what this sounds like so, I would say it is not necessary to send a written Thank you in response to the same.